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The backhanded compliment is dated, which is why it's a favourite of mothers-in-law and women of a certain vintage. Here are some hints to help you keep your cool when I'm being a red hot bitch:
I at least feel seen, and I'm also primed to get that it's not all about me all the time. Just because I'm in a bad mood doesn't mean you're responsible for it -- or for fixing it.
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